Fuck it

Here I was a few days ago laughing at Dutchbitch because she complained she was to old for drinking and the hangover lasts for days! (dutchbitch I can’t find the entry to hyper link you I think I am still drunk!!! HELP ME OUT BITCH!!!)

Well I am here to tell you fuck it I am the same!, I went out and drank god knows how many cocktails, got hit on by both females and males, kissed a man who was sitting on the toilet and passed out in bed! thats about the summery of it all.

So passing out in bed at 4am, needed to wake up at 8am to get to a football match at err forgot what time, well my friend Robin was awake in time, hell he is male, he stood up scratched his arse, farted, brushed his teeth and ran his fingers through his hair and he was ready!!! Me, OMG, lift my head that felt like 10 tonnes  rolled out of bed and crawled to the showe, washed my hair with eyes open as I lost my balance when I closed my eyes, got dry, got dressed and then Robin screamed something about food ~~face turns green~~ Though I did not let him know I was hung over, hell no I kept smiling and kept up a good front.

On the way to the football, sunglasses on, sleeping in the car, on arival I was confronted with 14 men who were out partying with me the night before, all bright eyes and bushy tailed  they talked to me and was amazed I could drink so much, hell I was amazed my liver didn’t burst!  The commented I can handle my drink and how I did not end up drunk after all them drinks they will never know. Well I am glad none of them know this blog as I can tell you, I was off my face!!!! totally drunk, maybe it is because I am always laughing and acting stupid that you all didn’t know I was so sloshed and wasted! Ha well you all keep thinking I was sober I got no problem with that!

The day after

So this is how it all pans out, the day after Valentines, it was all over the news, text messages rose, cards exceeded last years sales and all that kind of bullshit!! well fuck that shit I was let down once again!

Oh I love you, Oh I miss you, Oh I want to be with you, Oh I want to get to know you, oh oh oh FUCKING OH!!! So sue me I have a handful of males I know and talk to often, even go out to dinner with all saying they want to get to know me, there is this one wanker who was meant to come over for the day and we were going to go out for lunch and all that shit and I get a text message and I quote ” fuck fuck fuck fuck big problems at work I have to go to Brussels and I even got you flowers” Well buddy boy I do not care who you are if you have lunch with me and it being Valentines you better have fucking flowers!! And what the hell is stopping you from taking me to Brussels for the day to show ~~pokes forehead with index finger~~ think will you pfff.

Got some text messages, all of them from married men all but two anyway and they were real winners too, one says “oh would have sent you a card but forgot your address” the one was the winner of the day saying “You know I really want to fuck you Imported Bitch” when I read that message I knew I met my Valentine!!!

I do not know what it is, I seem to have more male friends then female friends guess because I can not handle the back stabbing shit that goes on with females, wait till you walk away then you feel the daggers getting thrown at you, ok not all females are like that I have some really good friends. Men are less of back stabbers and as this Valentines proved real fucking idiots as well! Though I did get one gift worth mentioning, I got a lovely package sent to me even if it was at an ungodly hour, I had someone think of me enough to wake me from my sleep with a breakfast package, Kisses to you and this guy I have only known for a few weeks now that made me smile and he is only a young thing (no not as young as the droolable teenage band member), So married guys, “fuck fuck fuck guy” I have known for months and months and the “I wanna fuck you guy” learn from the younger ones seems they still have their manners ~~middle finger to you~~

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EARS!!!

Oh god I just want to bitch slap a few people and bitch slap them hard enough they end up in next fucking week!!!

I really HATE repeating myself, huge pet peeves of mine! Ok us females have selective hearing but some people (yes mainly men) just have fucking bananas in their ears, they need to clean their ears out more often.

here is the picture, me and a male, talking over some things but then needing the figures to discuss things in more depth, male saying he will run get the papers and me not complaining as my feet are killing me today because of dancing all weekend in stilettos new ones ~ouch~

IB: Ok if you go to the delivery area on the left hand side there is a big blue door  go in there and on the desk there is the files, there is only 1 desk you cant miss it.

male: thanks  back in a minute

~~20minutes later Imported Bitch goes to check on the male~~

IB wants through the big blue door:” hello male where are you?

male screams from afar: over here !!

IB walks out of the room with the big blue door: what the fuck you doing over there?

male: you said on the blue desk!

IB looks stunned: do you think that is even a blue desk?  ~~continues to look at the wooden desk~~

male: well it is the only desk I seen when I walked into the delivery area

IB: did you walk through the big blue door?

male: oh I knew there was something blue

IB: yes and it is not the fucking oat desk your standing at you idiot!

My god seriously, when you walk into the delivery area there is all yellow walls with a few company logos that are red and a big arse fucking blue door and I mean BLUE!!!!!!  next time I will give him something fucking blue to think about!!!

It’s all in the details

Ok now I have told the whole world, well the people who read this blog I am a perv!!!!

Now you all want details, pfff why ? you are all pervs too you just did not blog about it!!!

So Details:

Thursday night I went to a concert it was amazing! loved it, great company, great bands and I would have been arrested if the police could read my mind!  One of the bands the singer I thought was really cute, was looking at him out the corner of my eye, he walked past a few times with a huge smile on his face, i just blushed  STFU yes blushed as I am also shy sometimes BUT THEN they introduced the band OMFG!!! he was only 18!!!! I could have sworn he was in his mid 20’s which was still a shock to me perving on something so young, and then their performance on stage DAMN!!!! ~~drowns in her own drool~~

So the next band come on stage and to my shock and horror it was the guy who me and the female I was with were perving at all night, she was making it obvious all night looking at him he gave her a few little smiles, me yes to shy to look as I would have creamed myself! not a thing to do in public, then again it would not have looked too out of place when you see how some of the other people were dancing on the dance floor, my body shaking an having convolutions due to orgasm would have just looked like dance move seeing as others dancing looked like that had carrots up their rectal passage, the other half looked like puppets on a string.

After the concert I talked to one of the band members that was of legal age had a nice chat, plan on seeing them again in concert but will remember to carry something with me to catch the drool and soak up the wetness!

OMG I am a perv.!!!!

Getting a kick in the arse from some pussy I realised I have not even given you an update of things that happened on my week away, Ha well it can wait till next time as I do have something to blog about, **drum roll** I have just now.. yes only just now, realised I am a huge fucking pervert!!!

Lets go back a few weeks, me in my training pants and red t-shirt, face looking like a steamed tomato, sweat dripping off my chin and running down my face, affective huh? well that is how I looked at the gym when 3 men come up to talk to me and ask me out for a drink, I said no to me the situation seemed more a dare then true interest. THOUGH, my goodness when at the gym I can not stop perving!!! heck I can not stop perving at all!!

While shopping I look, and I mean LOOK, round arses, eyes, legs, smile. While travelling in the car I think I am the worst! I drive and when I get stuck in traffic jams I perv, I sit beside men in cars if they are cute, I will smile and pretend I am not looking keep side by side to their car in the traffic jam, I even have a secret stash of lollipop’s in my car so when in a traffic jam I will suck on a lolly and make sure it is see the sexual innuendo. While away for my week I found myself drooling over fathers playing with their children in the tropical pool, I was showing all my good looks and made sure I let my deep eyes meet theirs.

I am finding I am putting myself in places where there are more males then females, and with the people I hang around it is easy!! all men in suits and that makes me drool from places you just do not want to know! OMFG I am so undersexed! I perv at ugly guys! I seem to not be so picky right now THOUGH the ugly people I brush off, I aim high, looks, arse, job, smile, hair ohh god I need to be needed

After all that rambling I did not even touch the reason I wrote this blog!  There is a certain friend and blogger ( that narrows it down) who has a certain cute guy on her blog roll and I just sit there in the background saying nothing, never even commented on his blog and how badly I want to tell him yummy things. Never know in time I might leave a comment.

It’s Over!

The week is over and the bitch is back!

I know you all missed me! whining, crying and dreaming of my return!

What is that you say?  I have tickets on myself ? Oh you have no idea, if I was a prize in a raffle I would buy all the tickets, I better not go out in the wind or my tickets will fly off!

So tomorrow I promise to write a blog, chances are high it will be a blog bitching about something! life is worth bitching about I say!

kisses and licks in all your pink places!

It’s a dirty job

but someone has to do it!!! know, its bad, really bad, I do not know how I will get through it!
I am going away for a week, even though there is some work I am looking at the other side of things, the hope and dream of also some relaxation!
Yes I am out of town for a week! Ok nothing new there, though it will be without any Internet connection, can you believe that in this day and age?
Yes I will be in a big 3 bedroom Villa, with the luxuries of a bubble bath, steam room, Indoor swimming pool, spa, err mini golf pfff ok, 3 bathrooms (goodness knows why 3) oh it is in the forest so am taking my mountain bike, with no gym for a week I hope to get in some fitness that way! Actually come to think of it, why the heck does the villa not have a small sports room? with all the other things they have they could have made another small room for a gym, or even take away one of the 3 bathrooms! Well I am off, bike to throw in the car and swimsuit to pack.. hmm should I pack some books? oh yes I should have time to read, bye bye see you in a week.

Party in my head

An oxymoron story and “good grief” is there a lot, so I opened my “Microsoft Works” and went for it.
Taking a sip from my “plastic glass” I put on some “soft rock” and thought some more, my “tight slacks” on while on this “working vacation” my brain farted and I felt like the “living dead” my “passive aggression” a form I seen from across the room in a “small crowd” I recognized I was “Legally drunk” drowning my “sweet sorrows” the “silent screams” in my head.

“Now, then..” back to this story being the “resident alien” at this party in my head “acting natural” while wearing the “new classic” fashion and eating “jumbo shrimp” the conversation moved to “honest lawyers” “Include Me Out” please! luckily that come to a “rolling stop” when a “butt head” who was ” pretty ugly” walked in carrying a “twelve-ounce pound cake”my “Least Favorite” even though I “almost always” eat “diet ice cream.”

Later in the night some “intelligent fool” “staged an accident” that looked “Unbelievably True” someone “taped it live” though it all seemed to be “clearly misunderstood” these parties in my head are always amusing though “almost exactly” the same as the last “Strangely    Familiar” you could say I am “almost done” though to finish up I have to say it was “awfully nice” and “awfully good” of you to drop by in my “Reality Dreams” where the motto is “more is less” and everything is ” a little bit big.”
“Finally again”  a “well known secret” is that I throw the best parties around even if they are “original copies” of the last, now the exit is there, “Up the Down Staircase”

I bid you “A Fond Farewell”

Date update

 Now lets see where to start, “a man” had a problem and I understand but………………..

So Tuesday night, lovely dinner, nice wine and I went home stinking of some sandalwood smoking oil thing ewwww so I had to wash pfff

Wednesday- well the date was cancelled, like always, either he or I cancel and he had work but we got together later in the evening and things worked out well though the night ended a little early and ~evil grin~ I called a friend and we had a great night! I had not seen him in weeks and it was nice to catch up, He is recently single and we have always had this thing about each other ~grins~ oh if only you knew my dark side. I heard today he was not able to sit well at his desk and that his nipple were very sensitive and…. well let your mind run wild as chances are your mind is not wild enough!

Tonight is early to bed, though……….. if I get a text message I might just have to visit someone so they can not sit at work tomorrow again ~evil grin~

Next update soon.

Wasting no time!

I have seriously had it to my fucking eyeballs with being fucked over with men!

Seriously!

So Traveller got a long fucking email from me, truth is think the wanker is dead, no replies in any way shape or form, even when I get to the text messaging stalkers stage ~laughs~  the spineless male can not even answer to say he is alive, so that is that

~dusts her hands off~

So while I do not give a fuck about men and have given up all hope I have decided that the males I know, as friends and even the ones I know who like me, well I am not pushing them away anymore, I am taking life and the offers I do like and accepting and it started Sunday with a text message from a guy I know saying “Sexy am in the area want a drink?”  I had just driven 6 hours, looked like shit but said yes! and got home 3 in the morning!  was a great evening!

Here is how the rest of my week looks, Tonight I have dinner with a nice guy, he is cooking for me, nice bottle of wine, nice music and then we are going for a workout (dirty minded people)  really a gym work out!

Wednesday, A lunch date with someone I have known for 2 years but I keep pushing him away, do not actually know why I push him away when he gets close, so its time to get together to talk and have a nice lunch.

Thursday, well no plans yet   (note the word yet)

Friday, An ok looking guy I have recently met online, we are going out for dinner and then off dancing the night away, only  thing I have to think about is my 10cm or 12cm stilettos!